Oh My Love!
The Boss
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Function Pleasure yacht
Creator Unknown
Past Owners N/A

The Oh My Love! is a crystalline, phallic-shaped, spacecraft belonging to The Boss. Although strange, mystical and magical on the outside, inside is a party yacht with several rooms designed to appeal to a wide-array of people from across the NeSiverse. The party is constant and people come and stay there for as long as they like so long as they have an invitation. Clear, Green and Hebedee all received invitations to board the ship and they did so hoping to get fuel. In the end Hebedee found more tba


External Appearance

The outside of the ship appears crystalline and coloured silver. It appears to shimmer as though surrounded by a cloud of needles. It is elongated and phallic-shaped yet appears to sparkle and glitter[CatH 1].

Internal Entrance

The docking hangar for its transport ships is very compact yet has a luxurious appearance. A person will then be automatically taken through a long tunnel via anti-gravity with a tractor beam like motion, pulling a person down the tunnel. They are able to move around but cannot change their course, regardless of swimming motions. The tunnel has windows along the right side that display the ensuing parties within the room. At the end of the tunnel the person is deposited in a classy black-and-white marble room that welcomes the guest into the rooms. A robot guard will hand out invitation cards to anyone requested to attend the party. Glass doors separate this hall from Room One[CatH 2]. This room is also where guests may access dormitories (citation needed).

Engine Room

The engine is filled with power cores, which is unusual because a single one can provide power for a much larger vessel than the Oh My Love!, such as The Hopeful[CatH 3].


The rooms are large and are all connected to one-another, as anyone travelling down the anti-gravity tunnel would have seen outside. A slight shimmering blue between the bulwarks that divide each room denotes a thin shield to block out the sounds of each room. The windows seen on the way here are blacked out. They're one-way, so nobody inside knows who is coming[CatH 2].

Room One (Disco)

This room has a dark red carpet, black paintwork on the walls and a red disco light that gives the room a fairly sensual feel. The dance floor is an area of bright blue tiles that light up when stepped on. The music is like 80s Earth electronica[CatH 2].

Room Two (Oxygen)

Music in this room is playing but it's alien. Clear, a salmitton guest, described it as sounds like a series of tiny bells being played with a disgruntled cat growling over it. The room is popular because it is being pumped with extra oxygen that can make people high, light-headed and giddy. The room seems mostly designed for titillating conversations, seated upon comfortable sofas and armchairs[CatH 2].

Room Three (Garden)

This room is like a garden, filled with grass, trees, flowers, an artificial breeze and even a mini-sun like light, instead of a disco ball, that emits warmth. There's sounds of birds and insects, including creatures quite alien-sounding. The room is very long and open and people here mostly play sports or enjoy the sun[CatH 2].

Room Four (Lovers' Den)

The fourth room plays pop music and is quite raunchy as people are kissing and probably even making love in some corners of the room[CatH 2].

Other Rooms

Room Six

Room six is merely mentioned as the place that Hebedee, a mechanic from Earth, was staying[CatH 2].



There are several members of bar staff on the Oh My Love!, however one in particular is able to split herself into (at least) four bodies. Each seems capable of independent thought and motion, despite being an entity of the same being. She has grey skin and a big, pink spot on her forehead. She also has bright, blonde hair worn in pig-tails. Often, seemingly without reason, glitter-explosions will blow up around her head and shower the area in sparkles. She is also able to get a "vibe" from another sentient being and create a drink that they would love. She cannot know a person's favourite drink, which is based upon that person's knowledge, rather she can sense what they would like, even if that person has never experienced the drink before. The drink isn't always the same, differing depending on the circumstance[CatH 2].

The Boss

Main article: The Boss

The Boss, as he is simply known, is the transvestite human that owns the Oh My Love!. He is never described as captain, only The Boss, suggesting he may not be the captain of the ship - merely the owner. He wears a long, gold dress with a lot of sequins on it. He wears a gaudy wig of white and golden curls that extends to his shoulders. Although the lines of age are clearly upon his face, he also wears a lot of make-up. His skin is brown and he has large lips with red lipstick. He is dominant in his own habitant and is often surrounded by people. He can be patronising and condescending, especially towards those who may be less sexually open as him[CatH 2]. He does express concern for the safety of others when he tries to stop Hebedee from touching the Power Core, despite his attitude towards Clear and her friend[CatH 4].


Clear and the Hopeless

Main article: Clear and the Hopeless (Story Arc)

The Oh My Love! happened across The Hopeless as it was desperate for fuel, unable to make further jumps through space without it. The Boss issued its occupants invitations to join his party. First came the humans Hebedee and Green[CatH 1]. Green talked of their third crew member, Clear, the last of the salmitton people of Mars. Clear, however, came later. She trekked from room-to-room and was given drinks by the barmaid until she found The Boss and asked about her friends. He told her Green was in Room Three, the garden, while Hebedee was in Room Six[CatH 2]. Hebedee, however, actually stole a power core from the engine room of the Oh My Love! but was caught by the guards. Clear took care of the guards when they reached the main hall but then The Boss shows up. He demands that they put the box down carefully but sensing danger if mishandled, Hebedee throws the box at The Boss and his guards. They all dive for cover. When the power core hits the floor it sends out a pulse that knocks everyone over. Clear fights with more guards when Hebedee then touches the power core, trying to grab it, despite The Boss telling him to stop. The power core immediately absorbs the human, killing him. Clear steals the power core inside its box, hoping she can somehow return Hebedee to life, and escapes the Oh My Love! with Green aboard the Bug transport ship. The Boss tries to tractor the small Bug with the Oh My Love!'s tractor beam, but Clear has a tractor-shear installed on the old machine and they're able to break free.

As the Bug is escaping, a third ship suddenly enters the fray - The Jolly Wanker, captained by Kaptin Kwanza in pursuit of Clear himself. Unable to capture Clear, the Oh My Love! settles for The Jolly Wanker and uses a tractor beam on that, more advanced, ship. Though more advanced than the Bug, Kaptin Kwanza has no tractor-shear and is unable to continue firing upon the Bug. Clear, Green and the power core escape into The Hopeful and jump out of the system[CatH 3].


Britt's Commentary

When I first created the ship from the outside, I had no idea what it was going to be within. I simply had an interesting idea for what it might look like. Only in the subsequent post did I decide it would be the pleasure barge it became. The idea of an eternal party ship run by a fearful transvestite was an exciting prospect that I had to run with. I knew The Boss would be an antagonist and I wanted him to exude power, despite the usual prejudice towards male transvestites. In a way the incidental description of the ship's exterior managed to reflect the exterior appearance of The Boss himself."

"The title of the ship was originally simply 'oh my love' but I later added the exclamation point when inspired by the manga "Oh My Goddess![Ext 1]" due to the similarities in title." - Britt the Writer


External References

Clear and the Hopeless References

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