The Plothole
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The Plothole

NeS3 Post 104 opens with the Galactitron King and the Galactitron crew that are studying Earth warriors. They find a list of celebrities, believing them to be great warriors and the apex predators. The lieutenant briefly asks why random crew are always lieutenants, harkening back to the same joke in NeS3 Post 97. The Galactitron Fleet has now reached Pluto of the Sol System. On Earth, the NeS Heroes are running through the Cold Castle to escape Santa's Little Leprechauns. Three of them, Iriana, CopyKAT and Aladdyn, are hidden in boxes as they run and only stop when Losien calls out to them. Seeing it's the other heroes, Iriana admits she's glad to see them because of what the leprechauns did to her. Newb proceeds to ask a series of bad things that they could have done, each time getting a negative from Iriana, until Char points out they should just let Iriana tell them. She tells them, emotionally, they made her watch someone drinking coffee, which happened in NeS3 Post 97. Finally the leprechauns catch up to the heroes, though they're confused about why they were so late. One references that they have very short legs as explanation.

Post

Galactitron King: "We've been going over the threat assessments for days. How can so much danger be on one world? It's a death world!"


Galactitron Lieutenant: "That does seem to be the case. Humans must be apex predators to have survived this long. Also, why are we always lieutenants?"


Galactitron King: "What?"


Galactitron Lieutenant: "Nothing."


The Galactitron King leans forward, surveying the vast array of holographic projections displaying all of Earth's dangers. Elvis Presley[Ext 1], McDonalds[Ext 2] hamburgers, and Taylor Swift have been joined by Justin Bieber, Elon Musk[Ext 3], duct tape, and worst of all: coffee.


Galactitron King: "We are a mighty warrior culture, but we are wise in the ways of war too. It would be foolish to commit until we have completed the threat assessment. Continue."


The list goes on, as the Galactitron fleet hovers in waiting just beyond Pluto.


On Earth at the North Pole, three boxes are being chased by our not-so-intrepid heroes, who are themselves being chased by leprechauns.


Leprechaun #1: "Whoa! Shapeshifting boxes! They turned into people!"


Leprechaun #2: "They must have strange and deadly powers!"


Leprechaun #3: "I'll say! They haven't succumbed to the man flu yet!"


Losien: "Iriana, Aladdyn, CopyKAT! Stop! It's us!"


The boxes skid to a stop and turn around, the top flaps of each one lifting up a bit to show a pair of eyes in each one.


Iriana: "Losien! Am I glad to see you! The things they did to me..."


Losien gets a dangerous look on her face.


Losien: "What did they do to you, Iriana?"


Newb: "Wait, let me guess. Did they cut off your hair?"


Iriana: "No..."


Newb: "Hang your upside down by your ankles?"


Iriana: "No..."


Newb: "Read you Vogon poetry[Ext 4]?"


Discarding another tissue, Wai shudders at a flashback.


Iriana: "No..."


Aladdyn L. Quirk: "Ooh, ooh, I know! Did they ask you to grant them wishes?"


Newb: "Shut up, Aladdyn!"


Char: "N-not to be rude or anything, but maybe we should just let Iriana tell us."


Iriana: "No..."


Mutt: "Eh?"


Losien: "Oh no, that bad, huh?"


Newb: "Ha! I knew she liked the guessing game!"


Iriana: "No, sorry, I was just reflexively saying no at that point. They, they..."


She pauses to take a deep, shuddering breath. Everyone holds their own breath pensively.


Iriana: "They drank coffee in front of me."


Everyone stares at Iriana.


Leprechaun #1: "Ha! Finally caught up with you!"


Leprechaun #2: "Looks like they had a whole pow-wow without us!"


Leprechaun #3: "Yeah, why did it take us so long to catch up to them even after they'd stopped running?"


Leprechaun #1: "See those short stubby legs we've got?"


Leprechaun #3: "Yeah, what about them?"


Leprechaun #1: "That's why."

Notes

Britt's Commentary

"Vogan poetry[Ext 4] is a reference from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy[Ext 5]." ~ Britt the Writer

References

External References

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