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NeS1 Page 6 continues the 'coke heist' adventure of Semievil333 the Writer who finally gets his fix before he returns to the ISB Offices. Back in the Story Realm MaybeChild is chasing after highly animated mushrooms moments before Raistlin Majere uses magic to lift the entirety of Ares' Colosseum into space and lands it onto the comet that was bound for Earth. He then altered its trajectory so that it would crash, instead, into The Chimera, flagship of Grand Admiral Thrawn. Trixie the dog returns with cybernetic implants and has half-dog, half-bear puppies with the constellation-bear Ursa Major.

Story[]

The Fight of the Century of the Week[]

See also: The Fight of the Century of the Week

Posts 201 - 209[]

Main articles: 201 | 202 | 203 | 204 | 205 | 206 | 207 | 208 | 209

Semievil333 the Writer has been searching for a source of Coca-Cola[Ext 1] to get his caffeine fix and found a vending machine but had no money[NeS1 1]. He went into a local shop and haggled himself a cheap plastic bat which he then took to the vending machine. First, to his dismay, he wound up with Diet Coke[Ext 2]. The next gave him Pepsi[Ext 3], which he screamed and fled from. Finally he got his much needed Coke and hooked it up to an intravenous drip as he then shuffled his way back to the Story Board Office[NeS1 2]. A tour guide was showing some tourists around the ISB Office when Otter the Writer was being chased by MaybeChild the Writer. In the mad dash a can of Semievil333 the Writer's cola fell on Gebohq the Writer's laptop who was happy with the opportunity to slack off and not write anything. The Editor, however, forced him to use a typewriter instead[NeS1 3].

In the Story Realm The Otter and Gebohq Simon stick their heads out of the window of The Crow's Nest to see MaybeChild wildly chasing after a highly animated mushroom that had escaped from her kombucha[Ext 4] tea jar. The mushroom then peed on her gear while gigglingly joyfully[NeS1 4]. Raistlin Majere[Ext 5] decided to get some danger into the situation by raising the entirety of Ares' Colosseum into space where he then planted it onto the comet that was bound to crash into the Earth. The pay-per-view[Ext 6] team requested that the combatants start getting some real action going as they now had control of the comet, bought from Ares, and would slap it into the planet's surface if ratings didn't improve. To get said action going, Raistlin changes the course of the comet so it would crash into Grand Admiral Thrawn's Super Stardestroyer, The Chimera, which was orbiting Earth. He then also brought down the Ursa Major constellation into a physical, space bear that rampaged through the arena. Raistlin then went to sleep somewhere while Antestarr started to ride the space-bear[NeS1 5]. Semievil, while still Yodafied from NeS1 Post 195[NeS1 6], leapt onto the massive paws of Ursa Major and started trying to detach its pretty claws while the bear ignored him[NeS1 7]. Raistlin, in his sickness, started to see images of dancing NightQuil[NeS1 8] bottles while he's trying to fall to sleep. The Otter asked Gebohq Simon why he's wearing a lampshade on his head (which he had apparently been wearing since NeS1 Post 154[NeS1 9]) and managed to yank it off of his head. He then handed Gebohq some soft-core pornography to read[NeS1 10]. MaybeChild then burst into The Crow's Nest still searching for the runaway mushroom but Otter invited her to sit and smoke some hookah[Ext 7] with him. He revealed that he had a Metallica[Ext 8] magazine for her, as well as special magazine gift for each of his friends including Antestarr and Semievil too[NeS1 11].

Posts 210 - 222[]

Main articles: 210 | 211 | 212 | 213 | 214 | 215 | 216 | 217 | 218 | 219 | 220 | 221 | 222

After having had her hind leg and jaw removed by Semievil in NeS1 Post 193[NeS1 12], Trixie the Rottweiler had to go surgery to have cybernetic implants attached. She returned to the arena to help her owner, Antestarr, but fell in love with Ursa Major when their eyes met. The two ran off together but returned moments later with a litter of cute half-cybernetic dog, half-constellation bear puppies that are armed with claws and deathrays[NeS1 13]. Seeing that he could in trouble, Semievil got The Otter to come into the arena and dressed him in his cloak from Semievil's last battle with Antestarr. He handed him the Dog-Jaw weapon, fashioned from Trixie's bones, and told Otter that Trixie is giving away these gifts and urged him in her direction[NeS1 14]. When Morris the Cat found out Trixie was back, he is angry with Antestarr for replacing him as the Story's exclusive animal and vowed to attack Trixie and puke on Antestarr's shoes[NeS1 15]. Outside of Ares' Colosseum, stuck in traffic exiting the parking lot, Miss Fire was in her ship watching the arena battles on Pay-per-view[Ext 9]. She, along with many others, were trying to leave the comet before it crashed but the Imperial presence was holding up traffic. After switching off the pay-per-view she briefly watched Amazing Discoveries before she settled down to watch Dawson's Creek[Ext 10] while she waited for the traffic to clear[NeS1 16].

Back in the arena, at an undisclosed bedroom location, Trixie and Ursa Major were asleep in a gigantic bed. Morris snuck into the room but MaybeChild stood on his tail and he screeched out of the room. She was searching for the escaped mushroom she lost in NeS1 Post 205. The noise woke Ursa Major who was going to maul MaybeChild but she offered him the mushroom because he looked ill. He accepted and left just as The Otter entered in search of the promised dog-jaw bone that Semievil convinced he could find here. MaybeChild, however, forced Otter to get changed in the bathroom and was going to throw away the cloak when Semievil entered to get it back as he didn't want to lose it. Trixie then woke up and saw Semievil, who had mutilated her to make the dog-jaw weapon, with his cloak to identify him. Semievil looked for help but Otter and MaybeChild had both left already[NeS1 17]. Semievil changed into a bullfighter and waggled the red-lined cloak at Trixie. She attached the dog-jaw weapon to her head like a couple of horns and charged. As he was still Yodafied from NeS1 Post 195, Semievil decided to turn tail and run away[NeS1 18]. As he ran he invoked the Storywriters to save him, believing them to be his ally, and suddenly Morris the Cat swiped Trixie down. Unfortunately Morris then turned on Semievil, thinking his Yodafied form to be a great kitty toy, and batted him around the arena. This only ended when Gonk2m4, missing since the droid blasted out of the arena in NeS1 Post 161, came whizzing into the arena and distracted Morris from Semievil[NeS1 19]. Morris' claws cut the ropes on Gonk2m4 that held the Narrator to the droid's back, freeing him. He then transformed into Ares' Clone and Semievil rushed to greet his old friend. He found Bernard the Cyber-Pidgeon on the clone's shoulder and removed the rubber ducky attached to him. He gave the ducky to Ares' Clone who then belted out a rubber duckie[Ext 11] ballad[NeS1 20]. Gebohq Simon then takes a brief out-of-character moment to explain to the Reader the science of comedy, but it is revealed that this was a cover to use subliminal messaging to get more readers to the NeS. The Writers themselves, on the other hand, are drinking soda and taking drugs while Antestarr the Writer wants to end the NeS so that he could end his job as writer[NeS1 21]. He was knocked out by a petrified Peep[Ext 12] a moment later, saving the Story. MaybeChild the Writer was playing her music so loud that Semievil333 the Writer warned her computer was going to overheat. When it exploded she went off to hide behind books from Semievil333 the Writer and make a post. In the Story Realm Gebohq realised his documentary wasn't going so well and changed to a game show instead, despite MaybeChild's protestation. She decided to go off with David Jones[Ext 13] just before Semievil showed up with the hog-tied Narrator seeking help to dispose of him[NeS1 22]. The Narrator had actually been killed by a flying taco firing at Gonk2m4 following its crash into Enchilada Man's taco stand. The Narrator was burnt to a crisp, while Gonk2m4 wound up upside down and unable to move[NeS1 23]. When the Editor wanted new ideas on which direction to take the Story, Semievil333 the Writer suggested a tragic story where all of the Coca-Cola and EverQuest video games had been taken out of the world. MaybeChild the Writer suggested time-travelling to the 1960s while both Gebohq the Writer and Otter the Writer wanted to turn the story into a porno. Antestarr the Writer was just happy at the prospect of being fired but Otter the Writer knocked him out with another Peep. The Editor, however, rejected all of these ideas[NeS1 24]. When Antestarr the Writer woke up he told everyone else to visit a website to see the clinical experiments done on Peeps and he was happy because he made forty dollars from his other job. He then went off to find his Farsight XR-20[Ext 14] weapon[NeS1 25].

Posts 223 - 229[]

Main articles: 223 | 224 | 225 | 226 | 227 | 228 | 229

When Uncle Tusk entered the arena he found the, now discarded, Farsight XR-20 weapon and, despite being a sword-wielding barbarian, knew how to use it. Before he could, however, he was verbally assaulted by Morris the Cat who declared that he was better than Tusk's own cat. Tusk then revealed that he hates cats, despite owning one[NeS1 26]. The arena is suddenly bathed in the shadow of a giant block of cheese[NeS1 27], which is promptly eaten by Semievil and transforms him back to his normal self, since being Yodafied as of NeS1 Post 195[NeS1 28]. The Otter, believing the Writers had actually accepted the bikini-porno atop the skyscraper idea in NeS1 Post 221, drove his new car, a Karmann Ghia[Ext 15], up to the radio tower of the colosseum expecting to find naked women. Instead he was met by Semievil's sister, Totallyevil, who batters The Otter to unconsciousness with a second block of cheese[NeS1 29]. Semievil could then sense his sister's presence from within the arena[NeS1 30]. In order to fight against Totallyevil, and her two henchmen, the NeS Heroes gathered in the arena again and transformed into character classes[Ext 16] from Dungeons & Dragons[Ext 17], giving them all new powers. To quickly escape, The Otter used his druidic[Ext 18] powers to teleport them off of Ares' Colosseum and back to Earth, where they appeared at Stonehenge[NeS1 31]. Gebohq, who has been riding a horse since he transformed into a paladin[Ext 19], turns the horse into a Random Audience Member through Story-Wielding and then sacrifices the guy to the villains to buy the heroes time to think of a plan. Seeing the carnage, Antestarr freaks out and his personality switches into that of a powerful dark mage. In the atmosphere the comet, with the arena upon it, crashes into The Chimera, both exploding brilliantly[NeS1 32].

Totallyevil[]

See also: Totallyevil (Story Arc)

Posts 230 - 240[]

Posts 230 | 231 | 232 | 233 | 234 | 235 | 236 | 237 | 238 | 239 | 240

Semievil sought to gauge the strength of the enemy, so he conjured a fire-elemental with magical armour to tackle Farr. In just a single strike, Farr destroyed the elemental construct and Semievil warned that they would need to be much stronger to face this enemy. He used magical wind to hold off the three villains while The Otter created huge roots into a bunker, which MaybeChild then coated with metal, around the heroes. There they planned to devise a new plan, protected by the bunker. Antestarr got out a pack of cards and asked if anyone wanted to play Spit[Ext 20] with him[NeS1 33]. Uncle Tusk, along with Morris the Cat, then arrived at Stonehenge, having survived the arena explosion[NeS1 34]. Tired of being beaten at games by The Otter, Antestarr decided to challenge Farr using his newfound dark magic powers. No sooner did he approach, however, than he snapped back into the rogue persona. He found himself under the sway of a Command Console[Ext 21] in an 8-bit text-based game. He input the command to attack but he did zero damage to Farr. Realising he was outmatched, he asked for help[NeS1 35]. In response the Command Console gave him a list of useless help options, such as inputs for eating spinach. At that moment, Krig the Viking approached from the shadows in search of a meal. When he saw Morris the Cat he unholstered his waraxe and moved for the hunt[NeS1 36]. Seeing Antestarr was in trouble, Semievil dragged him back inside the bunker. Farr turned his attention to Krig instead, calling him a gnome, and causing pain to course through Krig's body. Angry at being called a gnome, Krig attempted to hit Farr with his axe but it got stuck in Farr's aura of shadow. The Otter transformed into a cheetah and rushed out to save Krig. Wolf, who was now using brass knuckles, used his incredible speed to punch them both seventeen times in just two seconds. Injured, the two needed healing from MaybeChild when they got to the bunker. Otter's leather armour was so stiff he could hardly move without being doused with water by Semievil[NeS1 37]. Eventually the heroes started to get bored while hiding in the bunker as they had a Nintendo 64[Ext 22] but with no games. They plan to go to the local Blockbuster[Ext 23] to get a game and Otter suggested they could pick up Killer Instinct 2[Ext 24] but Antestarr declared that the game sucked. Hearing the insult even from outside the bunker, Uncle Tusk smashed down the bunker's metal wall with his sword. Before he could rage further at Antestarr he spotted Krig as a fellow barbarian. When Krig said he wanted to eat a cat, Tusk, who hated cats, believed they'd be best friends and they left the bunker together. Through the gaping hole, the villains now leered inside with malicious grins[NeS1 38].

References[]

External References[]

Never-ending Story 1 References[]

  1. NeS1 Post 199, NeS1 Page 5, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  2. NeS1 Post 201, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  3. NeS1 Post 203, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  4. NeS1 Post 204, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by MaybeChild the Writer.
  5. NeS1 Post 206, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Antestarr the Writer.
  6. NeS1 Post 195, NeS1 Page 5, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  7. NeS1 Post 207, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  8. NyQuil article, Wikipedia.
  9. NeS1 Post 154, NeS1 Page 4, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  10. NeS1 Post 208, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  11. NeS1 Post 209, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by MaybeChild the Writer.
  12. NeS1 Post 193, NeS1 Page 5, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  13. NeS1 Post 210, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Antestarr the Writer.
  14. NeS1 Post 211, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  15. NeS1 Post 212, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  16. NeS1 Post 213, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  17. NeS1 Post 214, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  18. NeS1 Post 215, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  19. NeS1 Post 216, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  20. NeS1 Post 217, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  21. NeS1 Post 218, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  22. NeS1 Post 219, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by MaybeChild the Writer.
  23. NeS1 Post 220, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  24. NeS1 Post 221, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  25. NeS1 Post 222, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Antestarr the Writer.
  26. NeS1 Post 223, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  27. NeS1 Post 224, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  28. NeS1 Post 225, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  29. NeS1 Post 226, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Otter the Writer.
  30. NeS1 Post 227, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  31. NeS1 Post 228, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  32. NeS1 Post 229, NeS1 Page 6, The Fight of the Century of the Week, Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  33. NeS1 Post 230, NeS1 Page 6, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  34. NeS1 Post 231, NeS1 Page 6, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  35. NeS1 Post 234, NeS1 Page 6, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Antestarr the Writer.
  36. NeS1 Post 234, NeS1 Page 6, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Krig the Viking.
  37. NeS1 Post 235, NeS1 Page 6, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  38. NeS1 Post 236, NeS1 Page 6, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
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