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In HFO Post 79, most of the members of Hero Force One are in their secret underground bunker in Washington D.C., which is not so secret but sells more toys this way. Dr R. Deep, Benjamin Mahir, Flax Hyperon and Seraphim are all there, in dark moods, along with Citizen Rex, who is playing video games. Flax announces that sides have been drawn in the feud over the arrest of Ffion Heul, with Judge, High Imp and Magick Snowflakes ready to condemn the arrest, while everyone in the room is willing to allow the law to take its course. Seraphim is surprised that High Imp chose a side at all, to which Dr R. Deep believes High Imp will choose whatever side he thinks will serve himself best. Seraphim questions why High Imp is still on the team, to which Deep acknowledges that Hermes Trismegistus saw wisdom in it and that he respects Hermes' judgement, which happened in HFO Post 36. Flax then continues by questioning why Citizen Rex is on the team, given how much of a liability he is. Rex protests, trying to claim he has many useful skills. Deep asserts that Rex, like Company Kids of the past, serve a purpose and that Rex could serve a purpose until redundant. When Rex thinks this sounds bad, Benjamin suggests that Rex get a dictionary. Seraphim questions their position, thinking that the others are probably right. If it were Judge arrested instead, Seraphim thinks she would have done anything to stop it, but she barely knows the new member Ffion. Deep wants to try to get Judge to at least keep the matter internal because people will listen to her, as she is team leader. However, Rex sees an alert about the team condemning the trial and everyone instantly knows what has happened. They turn the television on to see Judge now dressed in her new superhero attire with the American flag rather than her old British flag. She addresses the press and condemns the trial as appeasing communist agendas and that it is undemocratic and an affront to American society, pushing all of the right buttons to get the Americans on her side, to which Deep recognises she has had training to speak this way. The press will expect Citizen Rex to add a statement, so Benjamin Mahir will contact the administration to prepare a speech for Rex. The court begins with Krig the Viking acting as the defence attorney for Ffion Heul and Couchman, who is given special dispensation from his role as Prime Minister of the UK, is the prosecution. Presiding over the court is Judge Judy, accompanied by Bailiff Byrd. The cameras are rolling because this is a high profile Hero Force One case. Couchman lays out the events; During an operation in Rub'al Khali, Ffion Heul murdered Fang Xiu Shan, a superhero of the Red Faction and sanctioned by the Chinese government, in HFO Post 73, who was subsequently resurrected as an undead by Mr Nine, the Ruler of Canada, in HFO Post 76. Ffion had refused to wear Earth clothes and stuck to her Æon Apprentice Robes, as required by the Æon Order, but High Imp in the audience made the effort to wear a smart suit, which makes Ffion feel guilty. She gives her testimony, explaining that the team was sent on a counter-terrorism mission, she doesn't know much about Earth politics, she didn't know the enemy very well, she only followed orders given by the U.S. government. Couchman argues if she didn't know the enemy, how does she know she didn't kill the wrong person. Ffion argues back that she was attacked first. They fought aboard a technodrome, to which Byrd must explain to the judge what that is, and Ffion explains she was attacked during the righting by Ms Fang and that she used her ruhand to kill the woman in self-defence, again requiring the judge to ask for an explanation of the ruhand, to which Ffion explains it's a sword that is an extention of her soul. Couchman asks whether Fang was acting in self-defence and Ffion had to concede she may have been, but doubts it and asks why she was even with the terrorists. Couchman produces a document that states Fang was working undercover gathering intel for the Red Faction and presumably a strike against the Trans-Terran-Terrorists could follow. Krig objects to this, declaring that the Hero Force One mission was well covered in the media and when Couchman explains that Fang was likely not watching television at the time, Judge Judy herself reminds Couchman that they were in the technodrome, surrounded by technology. Couchman says she was probably busy with guns or something, to which Krig objects as it's unsubstantiated. Judge Judy agrees that they cannot determine what would have happened afterwards. Ffion's testimony is almost over as she finishes with the final moments as she had to rescue Flax Hyperon from Vendetta Val, to which Flax objects that he would never need to be saved by a woman. Judge Judy tells him to shut up, he's not on trial and wants to know who was in command. Ffion explains that the team leader is Judge, but Dr R. Deep was leading her unit as there were several technodromes. Ffion further points out that afterwards Fang was brought back to life and so she believes she didn't really kill anyone. Couchman points out that new laws were added as murderers in the U.S.A. kept arguing the same thing since Canada became part of Hell and victims would return as some undead creature. Krig pushes the argument that Fang's death was collateral damage, explaining that Ffion Heul is a soldier and followed orders and Fang, amongst the enemy, was collateral. Krig continues to push that Ffion Heul is new to Earth and does not know every agent in the field. Couchman presents a transcript that talks of a meeting with Citizen Rex, in which the Red Faction tells Hero Force One their operative is present and was promised there would be no overlap, which happend in HFO Post 73. Though this is dated on the very day of the incident, Couchman points to the huge Hero Force personnel and budget, arguing the information could have reached the team in time, but that the agency wouldn't release the intel whether a communication to the force was made or not. He believes that Judge and Deep were told and did nothing, and that they alone would recognise Fang. Krig continues that Ffion is not of Earth, her lack of education cannot condemn her and Couchman's arguments are speculative. Couchman argues that a lack of education is a poor excuse for an agent's behaviour. Krig comes up with the 'big axes', meaning 'big guns', and points out that Ffion Heul cannot be found guilty by this court as she is not of Earth. Though it is an international court, those are only nations of Earth. Couchman asks is this truly how Krig wants to win, with an underhanded loophole that would tarnish the reputation of Hero Force One forever. Krig states his client will be free, that is all. However, from the audience, Deep calls out that she has been legalised by the American government. This angers Krig, but Ffion understands that Deep thinks as Couchman does. Finally Krig finds his new evidence to present, a witness. The witness arrives and surprises everyone as the witness for the defence is none other than Fang Xiu Shan herself.

Post[]

Breakup and Court[]

In Washington D.C., in their secret underground bunker base (that actually everyone knows about and there's plenty of photographs, play-sets and even Facebook[Ext 1] posts made by visitors all about the place. But 'secret base' sells more play-sets.) the members of Hero Force One, sans Ffion Heul, are brooding.

Dr R. Deep, one of the longest-running members, sits at a metal table with his fingers steepled. Despite the low-light of the bunker, he still has his shades on. Because coolness.

Citizen Rex, who has essentially become the company mascot and made poor Benjamin Mahir's role redundant, is sitting in another seat at the table with his 3DS[Ext 2]. He'd already been made to turn the sound down.

Benjamin Mahir himself is there, leaning against a filing cabinet as he thinks about the situation. He feels terrible. He feels guilty. But he knows it's only the logical process to stand by whatever decision is made in the court of law. But he still feels like an arsehole.

Seraphim is also sat at the table. One arm folded across her waist and the other is held up to her face, her index finger firmly planted into the centre of her forehead. Eyes closed she almost looks like she's nodded off to sleep.

Then Flax Hyperon enters the room, garnering a momentary glance from everyone before they resume their afore mentioned stances.


Flax: "Well, looks like lines have been drawn."


He Rikers a chair[Ext 3] and gets comfortable, leaning on the arm of it.


Benjamin: "I'm surprised High Imp chose a side at all."


Dr R. Deep: "He didn't. He chose who he wants to be with. Which concerns me more than anything else."


Seraphim: "Why is he even still on this team?"


She speaks without moving, eyes still closed against the room.


Dr R. Deep: "I wonder that myself. But Hermes Trismegistus decided he should join us and I do trust his judgement. So for now... we'll see. But this divide needs to come to a swift end."


Benjamin: "Only one way that'll happen, chief."


Flax: "And it seems that's out of our hands..."


He groans and rubs his face.


Flax: "I don't like to leave a damsel in distress..."


Dr R. Deep: "We're bound by the rules. We have to be accountable for our actions. Ffion's position as a new recruit, acting in the grace of the U.S.A. and battling terrorists should all work in her favour."


Seraphim: "I doubt any of that will even be considered. They're out for blood. They want to appease the communists--"


Citizen Rex: "COMMUNISTS ARE EVIL DEMONS!!!!"


That's enough to wake everyone up.


Citizen Rex looks around sheepishly.


Citizen Rex: "Uh... sorry. I don't know why I did that."


Seraphim: "Because it's the only thing you're good for."


Flax eyes Citizen Rex.


Flax: "I have to ask. If you're going to question why High Imp is on the team, why is this guy on the team? No offence, hombre, but you're a liability at best."


Benjamin: "I think you're just jealous because he's almost as good looking as you."


Flax: "And you'd know that?"


Benjamin: "I'm comfortable with my sexuality enough to know if another man is good looking or not."


Citizen Rex: "Besides! I'm super useful! I have lots of skills! Just ask my handlers!"


Flax: "Those skills aren't even yours to control, man!"


Citizen Rex: "But- but--!"


Dr R. Deep: "Most Company Kid's before Benjamin were utterly useless too. But they served their function. As does Citizen Rex."


Citizen Rex: "I think you just insulted me..."


Dr R. Deep: "When that function becomes redundant, we'll review the issue then. Until that time, shelf your concerns."


Citizen Rex: "You think... you think I might become redundant!?"


Seraphim: "Do you even know what that word means?"


Citizen Rex: "No. But it sounds bad!"


Benjamin: "Maybe you should get a dictionary, Rex."


Citizen Rex: "I will!"


He starts checking if the 3DS has a dictionary app.


Benjamin: "What do we do about Judge and Magick, boss?"


Dr R. Deep: "Hard to say..."


Seraphim: "It's not like they're wrong."


Benjamin: "How can you say that? Going against the government?"


Seraphim: "I do wonder. What if it was Judge that was being prosecuted? Would I be able to sit by?"


Everyone knows how close the two women are and Benjamin wonders, himself, if he'd be able to let his closest friend be on trial for an offence he didn't agree with. Ffion is a new member. An alien. A mystery and a mere acquaintance. Is he so ready to allow the law to take its place because he doesn't know her well enough?


Dr R. Deep: "The real problem is how to deal with the situation publicly. We need to get Judge on-side enough to keep our internal affairs internal. She's the team leader after all. People will listen to her and if--"


Citizen Rex: "Uh. I just got an alert on my 3DS..."


Benjamin groans.


Benjamin: "It'll be the dictionary you tried to download."


Citizen Rex: "No... it's an alert about us. Says we condemn the trial."


Now everyone in the room groans knowingly.


Citizen Rex: "What? What did I say this time?"


Seraphim: "For a change, it's not you."


Flax: "Screen on."


Nothing happens.


Benjamin: "It's called a TV..."


Flax: "TV on!"


The television screen switches itself on. They change it to the news, the previously watched channel being one of the porn channels. Everyone eyes Flax, who just shrugs. Lucky, Benjamin thinks, trying to conceal his embarrassment.


Standing in front of the International Spy Museum[Ext 4]. A fitting front for any secret bunker owning organisation. She's wearing her new outfit, much to the surprise of her team mates. It's much the same in cut - a short-sleeved jacket over the top of a bikini and knee-length boots. However the usual union jack print has been replaced with the stars and stripes. She commits the expected rant that the incarceration is an attempt to appease foreign communists and that Ffion is bound for an unfair trial. None of which anyone could actually say is untrue. She condemns anyone that supports the arrest and proclaims them it to be entirely undemocratic. Hitting all of the right buttons for the American audience. Someone has been teaching Judge very well. Even Seraphim is surprised at the delivery.


Flax: "And now if we say anything else there'll be known distension within the team."


Benjamin: "And now it looks like we're at odds with the government too. The President is definitely going to be making a call soon."


Dr R. Deep: "And he'll be expecting a fallout control speech from Citizen Rex."


Benjamin: "I'll send a message through to admin and get a speech prepped in advance."


------


One week later and a courtroom has been assembled. Ffion sits with her lawyer, Krig: Ace Attorney, while at the prosecution table sits Couchman. A lawyer from the U.K., given special dispensation from his duty as Prime Minister to do some lawyering on this high profile case. He's even wearing his black robes and white wig. He casts a glance towards Krig. This is promising to be a match-up of the centuries. In the lawyering circles at least.

He tweaks his semi-circular reading glasses as he returns his eyes to the papers before him.

Krig just munches on chestnuts, noisily.


Ffion: "Aren't you supposed to take the shells off those before you eat them?"


Krig looks at her, amazed.


Krig: "Why!?"


Ffion shrugs.


Ffion: "Because the shell isn't edible?"


He throws another one into his mouth.


Ffion: "I suppose I'm wrong."


Bailiff Byrd[Ext 5]: "All rise for the honorable Judge Judy[Ext 6]."


Everyone gets up. Even Krig manages to do as he's told, though he still throws a handful of nuts into his open maw.

Judge Judy walks in and sits down on her podium, overlooking the two sides.


Judge Judy: "Alright. Cameras are rolling for this. I guess a Hero Force One guy can't escape the glare of the spotlight even in court. So here we go. What're the charges?"


Couchman rises from his seat again, almost languidly.


Couchman: "Ms Ffion Heul, as mentioned, is a member of the superhero team Hero Force One. During an operation in the Rub'al Khali she murdered Fang Xiu Shan, also a superhero of the Red Faction. Although Ms Fang--"


Judge Judy: "Ms Fang? She even sounds like a supervillain."


Couchman: "And yet she is a superhero. Sanctioned as such by the Chinese government. She is now alive again, resurrected by Mr Nine. Ruler of Canada."


Judge Judy: "That's not gonna end well."


Couchman: "I feel the same. And so Ms Heul is here to be punished by this court of law."


Judge Judy: "Let's get her testimony."


Ffion looks at Krig for guidance. He points a stubby finger at the witness stand up the front. She gets up and walks around to the stand. The admin guys for Hero Force One had tried to get her to wear an Earth suit for the trial but she'd refused - she couldn't go wandering around, especially so publicly, without her designated robes. Krig thought this was a good thing - it would help show how out of place she is.

She stands there, hands in cuffs. She didn't know why they'd bothered with them. A quick snap of the mind and they'd be off. But she allows the process to run. In the audience she sees all of the team members there, though she notices that Judge, Magick and the High Imp are seated very far from the others. They're easy to spot because of how horrific High Imp looks amidst the other human faces. He's even wearing a formal suit, making Ffion feel a little guilty for refusing to wear one herself. A hulking monster like that condescended to wearing a suit for today, shouldn't she?


Ffion: "I was sent on an anti-terrorist mission by the U.S. government--"


Krig: "Did you know anything about the terrormen before you went?"


Ffion: "No. I just knew they were dudes in big metal balls. I mostly follow orders given to me. I don't know enough about Earth politics to be asking questions."


Krig grins and swallows a nut in victory.

Couchman, however, pipes up.


Couchman: "If you don't know who the enemy actually is, how could you be sure you wouldn't kill, as you did, the wrong person?"


Ffion: "Hey! She attacked me!"


Judge Judy: "Continue the testimony."


Ffion: "I went into one of these technodromes--"


Judge Judy: "Techno-whats? Is this a disco?"


Bailiff Byrd: "It's a kind of machine. Like a metal ball with wheels. And lasers. And technological stuff."


He holds his hands in a ball shape to demonstrate the point. Judge Judge rolls her eyes in exasperation.

Ffion: "So there was a big fight. Kind of normal, everyday problem for the team so I'd come to believe. I beat a bunch of dudes. They all had guns, firing bullets usually."


Judge Judy: "Well what else are they gonna fire!?"


Ffion: "Sometimes lasers."


Judge Judy: "Forget I asked."


Ffion: "So this Fang woman attacked me. I think she thought she was pretty great but I've found my ruhand is more than enough for most people on Earth. So I was able to defeat her."


Couchman: "By defeat, you mean murder."


Ffion: "I mean killed. In self-defence."


Couchman: "If someone burst into this room wielding this, ruhand, what would you do, Ms Heul?"


Ffion: "Defend myself."


Couchman: "Couldn't that be what Ms Fang was doing?"


Judge Judy: "Wait, wait. What the Hell's a ruhand. Says here she was killed by a sword!"


This time even the bailiff is lost.


Ffion: "It's a sword made from my soul."


Judge Judy squints.


Judge Judy: "Is this what all the kids are into these days? Soul swords? What's the world coming to? Alright. Answer the question."


Krig: "Cannot ask speculation question!"


Judge Judy: "Restate the question, prosecutor."


Couchman: "Did it seem like Ms Fang was defending herself?"


Ffion bites her lip. She doesn't want to lie here but she knows this is a fairly condemning point.


Ffion: "I suppose so. We came in guns blazing, so I suppose she could just act out in defence?"


There's a very loud snap in the room and Ffion looks at Krig, who grits his teeth around a solitary chestnut.


Ffion: "But I doubt she was. Why was she in there in the first place?"


Couchman: "Well actually--"


He gets up and presents a document to Judge Judy.


Couchman: "Mission files from the Red Faction team states that Ms Fang was undercover with the terrorists. Gathering intel. Presumably they intended to follow up with a strike operation, but she'd only just gained access so no further missions are logged."


Krig: "OBJECTION!"


There's a loud slash noise.

Everyone thought Krig had chopped something with his axe but apparently not. Just shouting objection gets you sound effects.


Krig: "Hero Team super famous! Everyone knows they went to kill the terrormen. Krig even know from tv in Hawaii. Krig like Hawaii. Krig like Hawaii bars."


Judge Judy: "Nobody cares about Hawaii."


Krig: "Krig care about Hawaii."


Couchman: "As I said. Ms Fang was undercover. I doubt they were watching much television."


Judge Judy: "Didn't you say this was a technology ball?"


She looks at the bailiff. He nods slowly, knowingly.


Judge Judy: "A big ball of technology and they don't have a TV? Sounds like a stretch."


Couchman: "I mean to say, she was likely busy with other things. Like shooting AK-47s[Ext 7] or something."


Krig: "Unsubstantiated!"


Couchman looks at Krig. Impressed he knows such a big word.


Judge Judy: "Alright. We can't say either way, unless Fang comes up. Is that the end of your testimony, Heul?"


Ffion shrugs.


Ffion: "After that the doc had someone bring her back to life. I wasn't there at the time. I had to rescue Flax from some crazy terrorist woman with a big-ass gun."


Flax: "OBJECTION!"


The slash noise indicates Flax in the audience.


Flax: "Uh... I didn't need to be rescued. I rescued myself. I just needed a ride out of there. Flax, saved by a girl? That's just crazy talk."


Ffion: "I totally saved you, dipstick."


Judge Judy: "Hyperon, you are not on trial. Sit your ass down. Heul, why did Dr Deep have Fang brought back to life?"


Ffion: "To avoid all this, I think. I mean, she is alive now. She's not actually dead. So really, I didn't kill anyone."


Couchman: "That's where you're wrong. You did kill her. She was brought back to life. Resurrected. You killed her. Then she came back. A few laws had to be added when Canada was taken over because a fair few undead started popping up and people kept claiming they should be acquitted of murder because the guy they murdered was now a zombie or a vampire or a demon or whatever other no-longer-dead thing they were."


Ffion: "Damn. Nothing's ever that easy, eh?"


Couchman: "Quite."


Judge Judy: "So. The accused did kill this Fang woman. Fang was an undercover hero at the time she was killed. Heul was acting on orders from the government and her own superiors in the team. Who are your superiors, by the way?"


Ffion: "Well, Judge is team leader. But at that moment it was Dr Deep. We were split into smaller teams to tackle different technodromes."


Judge Judy: "Right..."


She casts a glare across the audience towards Dr R. Deep and than across the room towards Judge.


Krig: "Krig motion that the death was collateral damage."


Couchman: "How so?"


Krig: "Poor intelligence isn't Krig's client's fault. She is soldier. Like Krig!"


Couchman: "You're a lawyer..."


Krig: "A soldier lawyer! Soldier follow orders. Do duty. Fang woman gets hurt. Maybe innocent, maybe not. But gets hurt because mixed with real targets. So she is collateral damage."


Couchman smiles and taps his nose.


Couchman: "And yet. Hero Force One did know of the operation in Rub'al Khali!"


There are gasps from the audience.


Judge Judy: "I hope you can prove that."


Couchman hands her a document.


Couchman: "A transcript. A meeting with their very own Citizen Rex where a representative of the Red Faction informs him that they are performing operations in the area. He assures the representative that there would be no overlap and no interruption to their operations. Evidently he was mistaken. Or else didn't care."


Judge Judy: "This is dated the same day that the alleged crime was committed. And looks like it was around the very same time too."


Couchman: "Yes. And for anyone else this would have been a problem. But this is Hero Force One. Do you know how much money is spent on this team? How many staff members it actually has? We often only see the team members themselves, but there are dozens of agents in this huge organisation..."


He sweeps his hands across an entire row of the audience which consists of men and women all wearing black suits and black sunglasses, only differing ties to give any sense of individuality. They all look at each other uncomfortably.


Couchman: "This information should have been related to the frontlines in an instant. We have requested information for communiqués of the day to be delivered to us but that information has been denied to us."


Krig: "Point stands. Poor intelligence, not client's fault."


Couchman: "I believe that intelligence was provided. And certainly both Judge and Deep must have been familiar with Ms Fang. She is a very well known superhero in China and Russia."


Krig: "Client new to Earth. She not know victim."


Couchman: "These are starting to sound like tardy excuses. This is supposedly the premier superhero team in the world and they botch their intelligence and fail to educate its newest member in important personnel?"


Krig pokes the chestnut bowl aggressively.


Krig: "Point stands. Client cannot be jailed for speculation."


Judge Judy: "Were you educated on important personnel, Heul?"


Ffion shrugs.


Ffion: "I thought so! I learnt who the President was. I learnt who the Prime Minister of Britain was--"


She waves her hand at Couchman.


Ffion: "And its Queen. And this Emperor of Europe. A God, or something, in a place called Burundi. That guy in Canada. I learnt who Justin Bieber is. I learnt who Mr T is too. Mostly I learnt some bad guys, including terrorists. The U.S. government wanted me to know about them the most. They live in the desert. They have AK guns and they have crazy accents. That's about it."


Judge Judy: "That... doesn't sound like a very efficient education..."


Krig: "Client not from Earth. Too much to learn in short time."


Couchman: "Not much of an excuse is it?"


Krig growls.


Krig: "Now Krig move to big axes."


Everyone panics.


Couchman: "He means big guns. Like the expression."


Krig: "Krig mean axes! Krig no like guns. Krig like axes."


Judge Judy: "Right. What's your point then?"


Krig points at Ffion.


Krig: "Client not from Earth. Cannot be subject to Earth laws."


Judge Judy frowns with concern.


Judge Judy: "This is an international court--"


Krig: "International. For Earth nations."


Judge Judy: "She's acting on Earth--"


Krig: "No matter. Still not legal. Check legal books. Krig check. Krig right."


Couchman: "This is how you'd like to win, Krig? A lowhanded loophole in the legal system? Don't you think that would do more harm than good? The team's reputation would be ruined, forever the public would see your client as guilty."


Krig: "But client free."


Suddenly someone calls out from the audience.


Dr R. Deep: "She has been legalised!"


There's a sudden uproar as several people shout at him from all corners of the room, including both Judge and Magick.


Dr R. Deep: "As a member of Hero Force One she was legalised as a citizen of the U.S.A. so that she can run operations and live here... That's all..."


He looks ashamed of himself but Ffion knew the deal. He saw, like Couchman, the lasting ramifications of a loophole win. Better to sacrifice her than lose all future credibility. Ffion can understand his position but she doesn't have to like it. She starts considering how to escape this situation herself, fight her way out and get to a ship off-world.


Krig is angrily chomping on chestnuts again.


Couchman: "This all seems very condemning to me, your honour. We can argue specifics but the basics are these; a woman is dead, an innocent woman. Killed by Ffion Heul acting on behalf of Hero Force One. Poor intelligence cannot be the excuse for a murder. At best that makes this manslaughter. She--"


Krig: "Aha!"


Couchman now looks irritated and looks sidelong at Krig.


Krig: "Krig secret weapon!"


Everyone fears the axe is about to come out.


Krig: "Arrived at last!"


Judge Judy: "New evidence?"


Krig: "Witness!"


Couchman: "There's nothing another witness can add. Everyone is biased."


Krig: "Krig witness comes!"


He waggles his mobile phone and then looks to the doors. They open. And there stands Krig's witness, wearing a long red trenchcoat over her formal court suit. She strides down the aisle with everyone gasping. She reaches the front and Ffion resumes her seat next to Krig. She looks at Krig earnestly.


Ffion: "This is your witness?"


Krig nods.


Judge Judy: "State your name, witness."


Fang: "Xiu Shan Fang."

Notes[]

Britt's Commentary[]

"The term 'Krig: Ace Attorney' is a reference to Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney[Ext 8]." ~ Britt the Writer

References[]

External References[]

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