In HFO Post 58, Citizen Rex and Agent Mulligan gave chase to a Grey alien through the Gherkin Building and Citizen Rex showed up with an ice cream. Now in HFO Post 59, the Grey can smell the ice cream is strawberry, prompting Citizen Rex to loudly curse that he had wanted raspberry. This alerts the alien to the location of the two Hero Force members and is able to make an escape. Rex uses the Liberty Torch to track the alien presence through the building until the alien manages to escape in a lift. Though Rex is quick to give up, Agent Mulligan suggests that they take the stairs. Rex slides down the banisters until he hurts himself. Rex also can't remember the agent's name and keeps designating him with random numbers. The pair eventually burst into a room, still tracking with the torch, to find a bunch of Greys all in human clothes as poor disguises. With them is a strange man who calls himself Space Butler and gives the back story of Princess Aurora Briarose, who is a princess is suspended animation within a coffin-like chamber in the centre of the room. He explains that her homeworld, Algernon Terse, is at war and that she was shipped away to keep her safe, however she has a deadly condition that means she will eventually die outside of her medical unit. When asked why he's bothering to tell them all of this, Space Butler admits he thought if the two men knew her story they would be more inclined to help her. Rex, however, asserts that there is a princess in need of rescuing and that's enough. The greys become annoyed that Space Butler is seeking aid from the two men instead of telling them to leave and the butler throws dynamite at them. Rex uses his anti-alien torch to burn one of the surviving greys. Space Butler, however, is mortally wounded. When Rex starts fiddling with the medical pod, trying to open it, Space Butler tries to tell him to stop, but dies. Mulligan explains, again, to Rex that the princess is inside the pod for her own protection, but Rex insists she needs to know who saved her. However, rather than opening the pod, he ends up activating it to fly back to the wartorn Algernon Terse as it then proceeds to smash through the window and off into the atmosphere.

Post

Sleeping Beauty

The alien sniffs the air loudly.

Grey: "I smell... strawberry ice cream!"

Citizen Rex: "Damnit! I asked for raspberry!"

Next moment, laser fire descends upon them again. It lasts just a minute and then the alien continues to flee. Agent Mulligan tosses his ice cream and runs after the Grey. Likewise Citizen Rex gives chase, except he tries to eat his frozen food en route. They slide around a corner. Unfortunately for Citizen Rex this means his ice cream winds up slamming into his face.

Citizen Rex: "My... ice cream... so sad..."

Agent Mulligan: "Ice cream can wait, Sir! The alien is escaping!"

As bravely as any man with ice cream on his face could manage, Citizen Rex continues the chase. They see the alien run into a lift and shoot at them, forcing the two Hero Force members to pin themselves to the wall. The lift doors close.

Citizen Rex: "Oh well! Looks like he got away! How unfortunate. We should go file a report or something. Well, I'll get my secretary to file a report. I'll be watching Desperate Housewives[Ext 1]..."

Agent Mulligan: "The stairs!"

Citizen Rex groans.

Citizen Rex: "Seriously? Stairs? There's going to be like... hundreds of them..."

Agent Mulligan runs off and a reluctant Citizen Rex follows. They run down the stairs. Citizen Rex wishes he could use those rocket boots they installed to make him fly, but the last time he used them they went haywire and he wound up head-butting the ceiling for an hour until they finally ran out of fuel. Instead he decides to slide down the banister.

Citizen Rex: "Wheeeeeeeeee!!"

Next banister.

Citizen Rex: "Wheeeeeeeeee!!"

And the next.

Citizen Rex: "Wheeeeee-- ow my face..."

Agent Mulligan catches up to where Citizen Rex has misjudged his speed and wound up face-first into the wall.

Agent Mulligan: "Sir, you should probably take this more seriously..."

Citizen Rex: "I am serious! Seriously in pain... my poor, poor face. I think I broke my nose. Can you look at it?"

Agent Mulligan: "No time! The alien is escaping!"

As they continue to descend the flights of stairs, the Torch suddenly grows more dim. So they return to the previous floor and enter it.

Agent Mulligan: "Must be here somewhere..."

They cautiously head down the corridor. Out of the windows to their left is London. Clouds lurk over-head giving the city a dim and dismal look. The streets are fairly empty. Most of London's population had been killed when the demons owned the land, leaving just a few battered personalities to rebuild society under the guidance of their alcoholic Queen Maeve. Agent Mulligan couldn't say that he approved. Being a True American and staunch republican (as in favours a republic, not a Republican party[Ext 2] supporter - though he is that too) he couldn't see the wisdom of having any monarch in charge. She is just another kind of despot and with the anarchy and desperation after demon control, she is likely to reign absolute power rather than the previous constitutional monarchy that existed before. Then again, none of this is his business and so he dismisses it from his mind to focus on the task at hand.

They burst through a set of double doors, Agent Mulligan with his gun read and Citizen Rex with his torch.

Citizen Rex: "I seriously feel I'm being emasculated with this thing."

Agent Mulligan: "Uh-oh..."

Man: "Uh-oh indeed."

Before them is a small horde of Greys. They're all standing, poised with laser weapons. Many of them are wearing human clothes. A Megadeath[Ext 3] t-shirt on one. A Hawaiian shirt on another. An "I'm with stupid" t-shirt[Ext 4] on a third. One is wearing a Bavarian[Ext 5] yodeller's outfit. However at their head is a strange human male. He is wearing a purple tuxedo with an overly large red bow-tie. Aside from this strange get-up, he also has oddly coloured hair. Half of it is blonde while the other half is green. Yet his moustache is purple, to match his outfit.

Citizen Rex: "Who the Hell're you?"

Agent Mulligan: "Your diplomatic skills continue to astound me, Sir."

Citizen Rex: "Thanks Agent... 47..."

Agent Mulligan: "You... forgot my name... and we don't have agent numbers."

Citizen Rex: "That you know of, Agent 47[Ext 6]!"

Man: "I should probably introduce myself before you two become further embroiled in your little quarrel. I am Space Butler[Ext 7]."

Citizen Rex: "That's your name? Dude. Like. Your parents must have been psychic."

Space Butler: "..."

Citizen Rex: "Or not."

Space Butler: "I serve as butler and envoy to Princess Aurora Briarose."

He stands aside to reveal a hovering casket behind him. Inside the casket they can just make out the body of a woman, but the glass appears frosted so they cannot make out any details.

Citizen Rex' chest swells.

Citizen Rex: "A princess!? Is she in need of rescuing!?"

Space Butler: "The princess is sick and so she was put into suspended animation. Hence the bed--"

Agent Mulligan: "Looks like a glass coffin."

Citizen Rex: "That's no way to speak to a princess, Agent 86!"

Agent Mulligan: "And now you get my number wrong."

Citizen Rex: "You just said you don't have a number!"

Agent Mulligan: "You just gave me one, Sir..."

Citizen Rex: "Oh right. Well now I'm giving you another!"

Space Butler: "Ahem! Where was I? Oh right. She was transported to Earth for her protection. There's a dangerous war going on around her homeworld, Algernon Terse. However when we arrived our friends here kidnapped myself and the princess and we're being held to ransom."

Citizen Rex: "That seemed like a lot of unnecessary exposition if you ask me."

Space Butler: "Sorry, I thought a bit of back story might make you more sympathetic to our plight."

Citizen Rex: "Princess. Kidnapped. Simple math. We're in!"

Grey: "Hey waitaminute! Are you soliciting a heroic rescue? Right in front of us!?"

Space Butler: "Uh..."

Grey: "You were supposed to convince them to bugger off, Space Butler!"

Space Butler: "Now, heroes!"

Space Butler, who has been holding a silver-serving tray the whole time, lifts and tosses the lid aside to reveal a stick of dynamite. Agent Mulligan, eyes wide, begins covering fire while Space Butler lights and throws the dynamite straight at the casket with his princess inside. Thinking, for a moment, the crazy old man has just blown up his charge, Agent Mulligan stops firing and takes shelter behind a pillar as the dynamite explodes. He hears a lot of screaming. He turns and sees Citizen Rex is the one screaming next to him.

Agent Mulligan: "Sir, you need to get a grip!"

Citizen Rex: "Right!"

Citizen Rex jumps out and activates his torch of flaming liberation. The blue fire engulfs one of the aliens that had been lucky enough to survive the stick of dynamite. Unlucky perhaps as he's now burning alive. He runs crying with agony, straight into the glass wall. However the movies lie to us. They don't break so easily. The alien thunks against the glass and is fortunately knocked out for the remaining seconds of his life.

The princess' casket appears to be entirely in tact, though clearly rocked from the explosion as it now rests against the far side of the room. Citizen Rex makes a bee-line for the damsel in a box but is set upon by the alien yodeller. The grey strikes Citizen Rex with a large hammer, knocking the man to the ground and the wind from his chest. He writhes and chokes for air. He rolls to his knees and starts to stand up but is rewarded with a crack of the hammer to his back.

Citizen Rex: "Owie..."

He chokes and finally manages to get a single gasp of air. He's suddenly rescued by Agent Mulligan who throws himself at the yodeller. They roll around the floor in a death-locked battle of strength. Fortunately the greys are short and weedy so Agent Mulligan manages to overwhelm his foe and punches the alien's lights out. He looks back and sees that Space Butler is gravely injured.

He approaches the old man.

Space Butler: "There will be more on the way soon. You have to get the princess to safety..."

Agent Mulligan looks back to see Citizen Rex is at the casket, miraculously healed from his injuries with the power of manly pride of saving a princess. He is poking at some kind of control panel on the side of it.

Space Butler limply reaches a hand towards Citizen Rex.

Space Butler: "Don't..."

But he then dies.

Agent Mulligan: "So sad."

He then turns instantly back to Citizen Rex.

Agent Mulligan: "Sir, perhaps you shouldn't play with that."

Citizen Rex: "We have to rescue the princess!"

Agent Mulligan: "Space Butler said she's in there because she's sick. If you let her out, she might die."

Citizen Rex: "But how will she know she was rescued if I don't let her out!?"

Agent Mulligan: "Uh..."

Citizen Rex: "Here. This display says Algimon... or something like that. I bet that means open!"

Agent Mulligan: "It's Algernon. That's the name of her homeworld. Didn't you listen to a thing the butler said, Sir?"

Citizen Rex: "I bet I press this."

Agent Mulligan: "That clearly said 'send', not 'open', Sir. That was in English."

Suddenly the casket begins to rise into the air.

Citizen Rex: "Uh... oops?"

The casket blasts off. This time the weight and speed of this object is more than enough to smash through the glassed wall. It speeds off through the skies of London and up towards the outer atmosphere of the planet.

The two men stand at the window and watch the princess fly away.

Citizen Rex: "I think that counts as rescued... right?"

They hear doors slam.

Grey: "What the Hell happened in here!?"

The two turn around to see another group of aliens have entered the room. They don't look very happy.

Notes

Britt's Commentary

"Space Butler is from Excel Saga[Ext 8]." ~ Britt the Writer

References

External References

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